Selective recall

One of the things I find most frustrating about my husband - besides how he's so much smarter and more organized than I, and uses unfair techniques like logic when we argue - is that he has zero memory for names of people or places. A typical exchange, for example, would be something like this:

ME: Do you wanna go to Oleana's?
Him: What's that?
Me: It's that restaurant we went to with our friends.
Him: Which one?
Me: the one with the fire place.
Him: blank stare
Me: we ordered blank and blank.
Him: blank stare
Me: sigh... forget it.

or something like this:

Me: so, Ben says to me today...
Him: Ben?
Me: Ben, the one I've been working with. For 2 months.
Him: Ben the fellow?
Me: No, Ben the attending.
Him: Is he the Pakistani?
Me: no.
Him: Is he the British?
Me: no.
Him: Is he the one who yelled at you that one time?
Me: No. Well, yes, he yelled at me that one time, but not the time you're saying.
Him: Blank stare.


So, I was plopped on the couch (big surprise), watching CSI Miami. When I am watching TV, I am in the business of scrutinizing female actors for signs of recent plastic alteration and/or evidence of recent reproductive activity. It was thus that I totally called Terri Hatcher's facelift and Colbie Smulders' pregnancy before whospregnant.com did. So, I'm watching CSI Miami, and I say to my husband, because he gets to be the unwilling recipient of my observations, I say to him: "Hey, this girl's face looks weird. I think she had her lips injected. Or fillers. Or maybe she's pregnant and bloated..."

He asked me which girl without looking up, and I answered: "Blonde chick from CSI Miami."

Here, he said, again, without ever looking up: "Emily Procter is pregnant?"

I'm like... Emily Procter?! Did you just call her Emily Procter? Some of our closest friends are still "that guy who..." and "that chick that..." but Emily Procter gets name recognition, first AND last?!

So, I called him out on it. What the hell dude?!

His excuse: Well, her name is in the credits only every single time we watch the show! And we watch the show only every day!

My retort: Oh, really. What's the name of the guy that plays the main character?

His answer: I don't fucking know! (Like I was asking a dumb question)

I'm just saying.

This is the man who put Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron on his "freebie" list, and when I asked him what's up with leggy blondes, he answered, "For my freebie, I would want something exotic."

Men. I swear to god.

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