Pontificum Scriblerus

Every time we go away these days, there is an unavoidable musical chairs game of keys.  Somebody gets the mailbox key, someone else gets my house keys so they can come and feed Blueberry, hubby's house keys get left at my parents' so they can use the car, etc etc etc.  So, it's no small wonder that one of these days something would go awry, as things tend to do around me. We just came back from a lovely long weekend at a lakeside golf resort, where we took walks in the woods, ate barbeque pork nachos, soaked in an infinity pool, and watched my friend get married.  I had taken a day off on Monday so I could relax, and catch up with Munchkin, who stayed back with my parents.  We had left Hubby's car at my office parking lot, thinking that we would pick it up on the way back.  We pulled into our driveway, and Hubby exclaimed: "what the fuck!! Where is my car!"  and then, as we both realized that it was still in the parking lot, we both said, "Oh, fuck!...

My husband is one of those people who naturally assumes control of everything in the situation around him. He gets it from his mother. It's a nurturing quality that stems from his desire to take care of everything, especially his loved ones, but that is inevitably embellished with his natural tendency towards compulsiveness. The compulsive side of this instinct of his sometimes drives me nuts. It also drives me nuts that his desire take care verges on the absurd: "When you go to the bank, don't forget your bank card." "I will pack the car for you, but I will put the things you need to remove immediately on the seats, and the rest in the trunk I will remove when I get home, so don't worry about it." Stuff like that. It leads me to answer with haughty comments, such as "You know, I survived before you, and I would survive without you!" However. My track record would lead one to believe otherwise. A few months ago, hubby traveled off to Sp...

Of all the odd things to happen to me... I was on call this weekend. Fortunately, proximity to work allowed me to go home and nurse El Baby, which I love love love... I actually really kind of hated breastfeeding at first. There's the whole milk cow thing; there were the sore nips; the time commitment; and most of all, the constant fighting with the baby to make him eat made me very frustrated. Sometimes, I felt like I was forcefeeding him the breast. And I even went to see a lactation consultant, which was a hilarious experience in and of itself. But more on that later. So, I nursed Munchkin, fed myself, and was driving back to work; it was around 2 pm. I was just passing by the daycare. It's a building on the corner of busy street 1 and busy street 2. In front, there is a small lawn. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something light colored piled high on the lawn. I did a double take. I thought it would be garbage. But it wasn't: it was a person! A girl was ...

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Sometimes, there are things that happen throughout the day that are too short for a good post, but too good to just let lie without telling the world. I've been filing them away. I thought today was a good day to share, since I'm otherwise not inspired to write anything deep at all. 1) Mother Parker On a sunny Sunday, we drove into Boston, right into the thick of things, right into that fateful intersection of Newbury and Dartmouth where many men (and women) have gone MIA searching for parking. But ho! what light through younder window.... There is a perfectly legit spot right there on Exeter! So we position the car and poise for a parallel park - except there appears to be a chick standing in the spot, texting on her phone. Roll down the window, whatcha doin there, and she says, with no note of apology, "I'm saving this spot." WHA? "Are you serious?" "I'd DEAD serious!" (she said that.) Now, hubby and I are just both laughing. Newbury stre...

I walked in to the most curious scene yesterday morning. My husband, foamed up with shaving gel (spring raspberry scent), was depilating his face with my Venus Devine. What's wrong with this picture? He NEVER shaves with a razor! He has a fancy bathroom face hygiene bot with an LCD display and 90 minute battery time instead. My Venus Devine is not equipped to deal with such harsh terrain.... Or is it? Who'm I kiddin'... Anyway, the result was delightful. I rubbed my cheek against his and exclaimed with glee: Like a bottom! "A baby's bottom?" He said, hopefully. "I don't know whose bottom, but my bottom is tingling right now, you're so sexy!" I answered. "And shaving with a pink razor that has a moisturizing strip does not make you less of a man in any way at all whatsoever." Some time later, we decided to go out for the afternoon, and as we were making our way down the long hallway to the elevator, he offered, "I like th...

So, today, I had the biggest trouble getting out of the house for one simple reason: I have forgotten my routine completely. I forgot what I needed to tak with me to work, which is impressive because there are really only a few things that are essential. Those things are: pager, ID.... and really, that's it. On the other hand, once I got to work, and wanted to sign my pager in, instead of dialing 77 to access the system here, I dialed 234, which was the number to access the system at my old hospital. It's been two years since I used it last. Discuss amongst yourselves.

I got pulled over on Sunday for rolling through a stop sign, which is next to my house. Officer "Hansom" asked for license and registration, and in my folder, noticed the [stupidly left over] citation from my last episode of getting pulled over, for speeding. Although I couldn't use the doctor excuse this time like I did last time, which btw won me an apologetic written warning as a part of some click'n'stick program (or something), I still managed to get away with a stern verbal warning and an admonishment to "DRIVE SAFELY!" Let's recap: 1) stopped for speeding, 2) car accident, 3) stopped for running stop sign. 1)Used the I'm a doctor, I'm going to work excuse (which was 100% true), 2) successfully played the victim (also 100% true, in my opinion), 3) used the old sheepish smile, repentant eyelash bat. Either way, this does not look good for my driving ability, only for my apparent ability to wiggle. Thank god I'm cute, I guess. I'm...

One plus one equals two. But, apparently, 2 minus 1 equals supernova. My husband and I often have tiffs about the fact that he seems to think I'm useless on my own, and I usually beg to differ. Ok, perhaps, I exaggerate. Phrased differently, I excite paternal neurons, and induce protective proteins, and end up thoroughly coddled. So, this year, as most years, he goes away for the holidays, and here is where the fun begins. First, there is a snow storm, and a scary message pops up on my dash: REFILL WASHER FLUID! scary, because I don't know what washer fluid IS. Then, I'm forced to dig out my car four times, all by my lonesome. Then, I get pulled over for speeding, for the first time in what, fifteen years?! (By the way, I totally pulled the doctor card: "I'm a doctor and I'm going to work, here is my ID." It worked too. Got a written warning and got to keep my clean slate.) Finally, as the straw that definitively destroyed the camel's back, my pee turn...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/world/asia/31pharma.html?ex=1359435600&en=714cf4b400adc56d&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss They injected vincristine into people's spine?? That's the one that causes neuropathy???? Uh... And what are the distributors of the other higly controversial drug we get here from the same factory doing? Hiding. And what is going to happen to this drug in this country? We're not gonna get it anymore. Well, I'm against this particular drug as a doctor; but it's a patient's choice to use it. This can't be good.