Smooth... like ex-lax
I walked in to the most curious scene yesterday morning. My husband, foamed up with shaving gel (spring raspberry scent), was depilating his face with my Venus Devine.
What's wrong with this picture? He NEVER shaves with a razor! He has a fancy bathroom face hygiene bot with an LCD display and 90 minute battery time instead. My Venus Devine is not equipped to deal with such harsh terrain.... Or is it? Who'm I kiddin'...
Anyway, the result was delightful. I rubbed my cheek against his and exclaimed with glee: Like a bottom!
"A baby's bottom?" He said, hopefully.
"I don't know whose bottom, but my bottom is tingling right now, you're so sexy!" I answered. "And shaving with a pink razor that has a moisturizing strip does not make you less of a man in any way at all whatsoever."
Some time later, we decided to go out for the afternoon, and as we were making our way down the long hallway to the elevator, he offered, "I like this face. Maybe, from now on I will shave with a razor on Saturdays."
"Then," I said, "You will be guaranteed sex on Saturdays."
"What?"
"I SAID," as we turned the corner, " You'll be guaranteed SEX on SATurdays!" as we walk face first into a woman helping her daughter move in to the building.
Smiles.
Instead of acting like the English queen and pretending like nothing happened, which is what the other two ladies were trying to do by evading my face and scurrying along the wall with their laundry baskets of bathroom paraphernalia, I involuntarily, and rather theatrically, clamped my hand to my mouth, and giggled like an idiot. And, even worse, I then got in the elevator, and burst out in a loud guffaw before the door closed. The guffaw surely echoed down the hall.
Excellent.
What's wrong with this picture? He NEVER shaves with a razor! He has a fancy bathroom face hygiene bot with an LCD display and 90 minute battery time instead. My Venus Devine is not equipped to deal with such harsh terrain.... Or is it? Who'm I kiddin'...
Anyway, the result was delightful. I rubbed my cheek against his and exclaimed with glee: Like a bottom!
"A baby's bottom?" He said, hopefully.
"I don't know whose bottom, but my bottom is tingling right now, you're so sexy!" I answered. "And shaving with a pink razor that has a moisturizing strip does not make you less of a man in any way at all whatsoever."
Some time later, we decided to go out for the afternoon, and as we were making our way down the long hallway to the elevator, he offered, "I like this face. Maybe, from now on I will shave with a razor on Saturdays."
"Then," I said, "You will be guaranteed sex on Saturdays."
"What?"
"I SAID," as we turned the corner, " You'll be guaranteed SEX on SATurdays!" as we walk face first into a woman helping her daughter move in to the building.
Smiles.
Instead of acting like the English queen and pretending like nothing happened, which is what the other two ladies were trying to do by evading my face and scurrying along the wall with their laundry baskets of bathroom paraphernalia, I involuntarily, and rather theatrically, clamped my hand to my mouth, and giggled like an idiot. And, even worse, I then got in the elevator, and burst out in a loud guffaw before the door closed. The guffaw surely echoed down the hall.
Excellent.
Comments
Two weirdos those two are.