French bred
Europe vs. USA. It's not a real battle, not even really an argument. It's more like a comparison, or a tug of war, or like a friendly competition, in the spirit of New York vs Boston and St. Petersburg vs. Moscow. I feel like they patronize us like an older, wiser, more experienced sibling. In turn, we contend that we know better and do even better, like a teenage smartass, while at the same time, harboring some deep and painful insecurities.
Of course, that insecurity might just be me. When I travel to Europe, I get jealous of the way the live: seemingly, so much more relaxed, not to mention the free healthcare, education, the 5 weeks of vacation and the paid maternity leave. Also, the sidewalk cafes, the delicious bread and coffee, the public transportation and the Puritan tradition-free ... everything. Conversely, when I meet Europeans here, I always feel a little bit apologetic about how things are here. I'm halfway to guilty regarding making my husband move from Europe down here for me. However, I'm pretty sure that Joe Plumber from Ohio certainly doesn't feel that way; probably quite the opposite. Wasn't it a similar Joe Plumber who asked me back in the day (after finding out I'm from Russia): "So, how do you like the freedom?" That's pretty simply put, but also pretty perfectly represnts what people think. Finally, she can appreciate freedom after getting out of an oppressive environment and over to the best country in the world! And, don't people often explain my husband's endearing quirks (like his capri pants) with a dismissive, "He's European?" As in, silly Europeans, what can you expect.
The most likely scenario is that complex is probably all mine, but what can I do, I'm me, and in my head, things are complicated. Lots of sulci, sulking.
So, I had this patient yesterday. He was French, and I say that while rolling the "R" the French way. He was really really French. And somehow, lately, I've been getting into conversations with my patients (at least the non-nutty ones) that have absolutely nothing to do with their actual medical problems, and we end up hanging out chatting for at least 5 minutes. This guy was definitely non-nutty, so, I asked him which part of France he was from, and he told me that he was from Paris.
"Ah," I said. "Gosh, how can you live Over Here after having lived in Paris!"
I expected him to immediately start reminiscing about life in Paris and listing all the various things that are wrong with Over Here. That's what other Europeans have done, reinforcing my teenage younger sibling complex. You know: the carding for alcohol is ridiculous, everything closes at 2am, no one leaves their house...
But he actually said, "Oh, I live very well."
He then told me, "I have wanted to leave France since I was very young. There is no opportunity there. If you really want to do something, you can't. I wanted to have my own business, but the government controls everything and they take your money away. Yes, you have your 5 weeks of vacation, but you are stuck." I assume he meant stuck in the middle class. "Ask your husband," he said.
I don't know, I think my husband was pretty darn happy living in Spain with his parents, his 5 weeks of vacation and his bars that open until 6 am ... the next day. Most people in Spain are.... and yet... truth be told... a lot of Spanish people are working and living abroad, aren't they... Still. I didn't realize that European governments were keeping their citizens down. I do know, however, that in medicine, to actually get work, to get a good tenured position, another older physician has to die or retire. For real. You cannot go and set up a practice somewhere. You have to replace somebody, and until that time, you are "junior faculty," or essentially a glorified trainee. But on the other hand, they have no loans, no 80 hour work week (and that's a cap for us!!), and no one is trying to work them into an early grave.
So, here's a European who wanted to come here because it's here! Because he didn't want guaranteed middle class. I really couldn't believe that new perspective, and I was still skeptical.
He said, "Well, hey, they need doctors in Europe! You can always go!"
To which I said, "No way, as a doctor, I couldn't never live the way I live here over there!"
So, yeah, maybe the perspective isn't really that new?
Who knows. When will grass stop being greener?
Of course, that insecurity might just be me. When I travel to Europe, I get jealous of the way the live: seemingly, so much more relaxed, not to mention the free healthcare, education, the 5 weeks of vacation and the paid maternity leave. Also, the sidewalk cafes, the delicious bread and coffee, the public transportation and the Puritan tradition-free ... everything. Conversely, when I meet Europeans here, I always feel a little bit apologetic about how things are here. I'm halfway to guilty regarding making my husband move from Europe down here for me. However, I'm pretty sure that Joe Plumber from Ohio certainly doesn't feel that way; probably quite the opposite. Wasn't it a similar Joe Plumber who asked me back in the day (after finding out I'm from Russia): "So, how do you like the freedom?" That's pretty simply put, but also pretty perfectly represnts what people think. Finally, she can appreciate freedom after getting out of an oppressive environment and over to the best country in the world! And, don't people often explain my husband's endearing quirks (like his capri pants) with a dismissive, "He's European?" As in, silly Europeans, what can you expect.
The most likely scenario is that complex is probably all mine, but what can I do, I'm me, and in my head, things are complicated. Lots of sulci, sulking.
So, I had this patient yesterday. He was French, and I say that while rolling the "R" the French way. He was really really French. And somehow, lately, I've been getting into conversations with my patients (at least the non-nutty ones) that have absolutely nothing to do with their actual medical problems, and we end up hanging out chatting for at least 5 minutes. This guy was definitely non-nutty, so, I asked him which part of France he was from, and he told me that he was from Paris.
"Ah," I said. "Gosh, how can you live Over Here after having lived in Paris!"
I expected him to immediately start reminiscing about life in Paris and listing all the various things that are wrong with Over Here. That's what other Europeans have done, reinforcing my teenage younger sibling complex. You know: the carding for alcohol is ridiculous, everything closes at 2am, no one leaves their house...
But he actually said, "Oh, I live very well."
He then told me, "I have wanted to leave France since I was very young. There is no opportunity there. If you really want to do something, you can't. I wanted to have my own business, but the government controls everything and they take your money away. Yes, you have your 5 weeks of vacation, but you are stuck." I assume he meant stuck in the middle class. "Ask your husband," he said.
I don't know, I think my husband was pretty darn happy living in Spain with his parents, his 5 weeks of vacation and his bars that open until 6 am ... the next day. Most people in Spain are.... and yet... truth be told... a lot of Spanish people are working and living abroad, aren't they... Still. I didn't realize that European governments were keeping their citizens down. I do know, however, that in medicine, to actually get work, to get a good tenured position, another older physician has to die or retire. For real. You cannot go and set up a practice somewhere. You have to replace somebody, and until that time, you are "junior faculty," or essentially a glorified trainee. But on the other hand, they have no loans, no 80 hour work week (and that's a cap for us!!), and no one is trying to work them into an early grave.
So, here's a European who wanted to come here because it's here! Because he didn't want guaranteed middle class. I really couldn't believe that new perspective, and I was still skeptical.
He said, "Well, hey, they need doctors in Europe! You can always go!"
To which I said, "No way, as a doctor, I couldn't never live the way I live here over there!"
So, yeah, maybe the perspective isn't really that new?
Who knows. When will grass stop being greener?
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