How did I get here?

I can't believe it's June, I'm about to fight the final battle over at the hospital, after which my first fellowship year is over.

I looked over my posts and writings starting around December of last year, and I must say, I am less than impressed. It has been a really tough year. In fact, after rattling off a bunch of bad things that happened to us so far in 2009, I asked hubby if he could think of anything good. After a while, we came up with: "Well, we got Blueberry..."

Here is where a shrink away from an angry god's lightening beam. Nothing horrible has happened either, of course. We're healthy. We're still together. I survived my car accident with nary a scratch. I didn't get fired from my job. I didn't get pregnant, but I also didn't get pregnant and then get un-pregnant. However, I think the fact that I feel this way is indicative at the very least of my mood and attitude.

Truth is, it's been an undeniably hard and particularly unpleasant year so far, not to mention the absolute disastrous second half of 2008, which, actually, may have set it all in motion, with many bad new experiences and several new disappointments.

Reading my writing though, none of that really comes through. I can't help but wonder why. Defense mechanism? Lack of time? Laziness?

So, now it's Sunday night before going back to work, and... see previous post. How did this happen? How did I get here?!

Comments

Nataliya Rymer said…
After having quite a bit of hard time trying to think of something for both you and myself, I have managed to come up with something.
Look, we got to spend a bunch of time together, the four of us, no? We came and stayed with you guys, and you came and stayed with us. And Blueberry and Mr. Bean got along and ate out of the same bowl. And Blueberry slept in Mr. Bean's bed and smacked him on his doggy ass.
Small things but still something, non?
June 1, 2009 at 9:03 AM
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